Today is Mother’s Day.  This morning I spoke with both my mothers – my birth mother and my adoptive mom.  I feel blessed to have so much mother love in my life.  Grateful too, to be a mother.

The following poem is written by a fellow Salt Spring Island writer, Lorraine Gane.  She often explores her relationship with her own mother through writing and she is a mentor/support to me as I write Umbilical Cord: An Adoptee’s Memoir – where I am exploring the what it means to be born, separated from one mother, chosen by another and loved by both.

to the mother in us all…

Let the beauty we love be what we do

–Rumi

When I enter the kitchen

your eyes tell me you slept through the night.

A spoon clutched in your right hand,

you unfurl the fingers of your left to show me pills

to thin your blood, lower your cholesterol,

keep your heart beating, then pop them

into your mouth with a spoonful of bran flakes and milk.

I make tea, watch the sparrows out the window.

There is so much I want to say to you but the words

catch in the small cage of my throat

while the questions hang in the air–

where will you go when you leave this world,

what will happen once you’re gone?

The answers elude me but what I know

for certain as we sit here together writing

a list for the grocery store–

you jot down salmon and cream,

I add apples, almonds and beets–

is the light in your face this morning,

hand silently moving across the page

-from Beauty and Beyond: Songs of Small Mercies

(to order see or www.lorrainegane.com)

Soul = the expression of your essence

“You can’t shrink your way to greatness.” Tom Peters, Management Consultant

Is there anyplace in your life where you are playing small?  Self doubt can cause us to give away our personal power.  Many people, including myself, believe that we are living during a paradigm shift that is asking for greater consciousness, deeper authenticity and self-expression that flows from our unique sense of genius.  We are stepping into a time when we are invited to move past blame, shame, limited beliefs, excuses and the like into stepping up to make a difference in our own unique ways – in our families, communities, businesses/workplaces, on our planet.

We are all meant to give and receive.  We give away our power when we believe we don’t have any.  Contrarily, we are tapped into our personal power when we are connected with source energy, that universal, abundant, always generous energy that flows through us when we are open and aware and willing to receive.  Source energy gets blocked by busyness, procrastion and self-doubt.  Source energy heals, energizes and supports the full expression of who we are.

“We all have the power to transform ourselves and consciously choose something that does not already exist.  At any moment we can create something beyond what is.” Julie Ann Turner.

We can serve the greater good in more ways, in some way large or small.  All acts of loving kindness, of care, of reaching out, of stepping up, of connecting, of transforming - all create a velocity of pure potential for profound and important shifts at the individual, group and global level.

Regular reflective writing helps you get crystal clear about your value, your worthiness, your story and the unique contribution you are here to make.  The blank page invites your voice, your lived experience, your story and the longings in your heart.  In this context, I believe journaling is soul work – a process that takes us into the heart of ourselves.  When we access this place, this is where our personal power lives, it is the doorway to greater inner peace.

Reflective journaling is tool and a practice that helps you feel inner peace in the cells of your being, in the calm of your mind, in the stillness in your heart.

Reflective journaling helps you meet your greatness on the page and in your life.

We have a brief time to do what we are here to do.  A lifetime.  One lifetime.  Bring regular reflective journaling alongside your life and open into your greatest joy, potential, desires and contributions.  One word, one thought, one feeling, one story at a time.

Join me for my next Life Source Writing™ Virtual Retreat and learn how to tap into the transformational power of journaling so that you can tap into the transformational power in you.

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” Margaret Fuller

What inspires me is…

Sunshine.  Date nights with my honey.  Play time with my sons. Morning coffee. Adele cranked on the stereo.  Writing retreats.  Green Point National Park, Long Beach, Tofino, BC.  The view from our living room.  Art Galleries. A good book. Writing in a hip coffee shop.  People watching. Running on the treadmill.  Rumi poems. Hikes amidst the big trees.  Slow dancing.  Fast dancing.  Van Morrison.  My mother.  My other mother (I’m adopted).  The tide. Watching the Olympics.  Ted Talks.  Personal training session with Debfit.ca.  Reading magazines (while not being interupted by my children).  My children.  My husband. My husband’s sculptures.  Listening to great speakers.  Time with my Goddess gal pals (soul sisters).  Road trips.  A glass of wine beside the fire. People watching. Time in hot spots.  Hawaii.  Mexico.  Writing in my journal.  People who make a difference inspire me.  Life inspires me.

Quotes inspire me…

“Life loves the person who dares to live it.”  Maya Angelou

And you?

What inspires YOU?  Please share a comment here…I want to be inspired by YOU.

Go ahead, just writing about what inspires you, can inspire you!!

I love offering virtual retreats, including my Life Source Writing Virtual Retreat - clients value being part of this co-created retreat time together and they appreciate being able to access this writing for wellness event from the comfort of their own home/location including the anonymity (freedom) this provides them to deep dive with their ideas, feelings and insights while Writing Alone Together (title of a co-authored book I have in progress).

Here are 10 reasons that clients appreciate virtual services (accessed by telephone or online):

What are the top ten benefits and reasons clients appreciate virtual services?

1. Apply your learning in “real time” – meaning you do not have to take four days out of your life to attend a 1-2 day retreat program, or a whole day to attend a three hour workshop or training.
2. Reduce travel costs and travel time: reduce the costs of gas, parking, and time it takes to get to an in person session or event.
3. Contribute to environmentally friendly/carbon friendly ways of connecting and learning.
4. Connect with other group coaching/retreat participants not just locally, but globally: all at no extra cost!
5. Learn more at your own pace and in your own style.
6. Enjoy both group and individual exercises and sessions.
7. Implement your action plans and commitments right away.
8. Create the space to learn and retreat more frequently in your own home, office or other designated place of your choice.
9. Wear what you want, sit in your favourite chair, participate in powerful interactions from the comfort of your own environment.
10. Participate in a fun, convenient mode of connecting, learning and growing!

A comfort tip: buy a headset to plug into your phone so that you can be hands free – to move, take notes, rest your arms… remember physical comfort is an important part of learning.

Thank you to fellow coach – Jennifer Britton of Potentials Realized – for sharing some of her client’s feedback about the benefits of virtual services to help inform this top ten list.

And you?  Have you participated in virtual events?  What do you like about this way of connecting and learning?  I’m curious!

Self-care includes all of the activities, beliefs, and energy that you embrace in service to living your most healthy, inspired and joy-filled life.  Self-care is NOT selfish.

Here comes what you already know to be true in the deepest part of yourself…

Being a self-sacrificing martyr at the expense of your own health, well-being and happiness does not benefit anyone – not your partner/spouse, children, family, career/business.  Instead, self neglect depletes you, creates resentment, contributes to feelings of depression, low energy and burnout.  We MUST have regular practices, habits, actions that replenish, relax and renew us in mind, body, heart and spirit to reduce stress, heal (which means to make whole), and be well.  Joy lives at the heart of well-being.  It is very difficult (impossible) to feel real joy and happiness if you are run down, worn out, exhausted, miserable, and feeling like you are on auto-pilot.  If this is how you are feeling – know that you can turn this around and reclaim your energy, inspiration and vitality.

The time is NOW to commit to lovingly caring for yourself, each and every day.  Not once in awhile, or later when you might have more time, or when the stars align – but now.   You are worthy of unapologetic, guilt free, self-care!  Every part of your life will come alive in the swell and spirit of loving self-care.  It really will.

I know the road of self neglect, well.  It used to be normal for me to have my own needs on the bottom of my “to do” list.  After a failed marriage and some other defining moments, I grew to realize that there could be another way.  I learned self sacrifice does not serve the greater good.  There are no wins from abandoning the self.  None!  You know it and I know it.  You are more than the sum of how you serve, care for, show up and tend to the needs of others.  You are a heart-centered soulful woman deserving of filling your emotional, physical and spiritual cup.  Your self-care is never a selfish act, rather it is wisdom alive in your life.

Step one to fully embracing self-care - make a non-negotiable commitment to showing up to care for yourself for a minimum of 10 minutes a day.  Perhaps simply sitting still, looking out at the ocean or lake or forest (letting mother nature nourish your nature), a candlelit bubble bath, a quiet walk, some silence, stillness and solitude, time to write in your journal, to be in your own heart and body with kindness - maybe you look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and say the following affirmation…

I love you me, I am here.  I am here now to care for you with a wide open heart.  I am here with full permission, no guilt, and great loving kindness and compassion.  I am here to listen to the whispers of truth within.  I am here to honour my mind, body, heart and spirit.  I am here to receive universal source energy for fulfillment, insights and joy.  I can feel my enoughness.  I am enough.  I am safe.  I am here.  Receiving.  With ease.  With thanks.

Let yourself come home to yourself in whatever way feels right to you.  Breathe.  Arrive.  Let go.  Forgive.  Dance.  Be still.  Do what you need to do to be present at the alter of your own beautiful being.  Let yourself be new, moment by moment.

You are not alone.  You are part of a circle of women striving to be the best we can be – in both our inner worlds and outer lives.  One by one and together, we can increase the vibration of health and happiness in our world.  In ourselves…

Love, Lynda

I am diving deeply into my memoir project.   The book is called Umbilical Cord: A Memoir of Adoption about my experience as an adoptee, finding and meeting my birth mother, and becoming a mother myself.  It is a story about family, mother love, abondonment, secrets and hope; it is a story of discovery.  I have been “working on” on this memoir for over decade, since just after I met my birth mother for the first time.  Now, I am ready to show up for the work and inner journey of writing this book.  I declared 2012 “the year I write this memoir”.  It is February, I have the project dusted off, a big white sheet identifying the scenes I have written so far, and my memoir writing books on my desk.  I have spent the past month “getting ready to write”.  Now, I need to get down to it because note to self: thinking about writing is not writing!

Memoir writing causes me to be in the present but also pulled deeply into the past, while also holding a vision for the future.  Five things I believe so far about memoir writing (please note I have been a journal writer for over 25 years)…

1) The more deeply I tell my own story, the more universal the story becomes.

2) Other peoples’ stories can help us learn something about ourselves.

3) Consensus building or approval seeking from family members (or key characters in the story) are not helpful elements of writing a memoir.  Memoirs are not greatly improved by a large censor voice.

4) The more I write the more I want to write.  Writing helps unlock writer’s block.

5) There can be a gift of healing through writing memoir, through understanding woundedness and re-storying our experiences.  I once read, “Adoption is the only trauma where we expect the victim to be grateful.”  I am exploring both the losses and the gains brought into my life through being an adoptee.  I am doing this both on the page and in my heart.

Watch this blog for more musings on my memoir writing journey!

One of my 2012 commitments is to keep improving how I eat in order to optimize my health, energy and vitality, while also teaching healthy eating/living habits to our young sons.  I live on Salt Spring Island, a place where eating a healthy diet is accessible and doable.  In the summer and fall, I drive by two farm stands offering locally grown produce, organic eggs, etc. within my 2 km commute from my studio to our house.

We all know a lot about how to eat healthy, yet knowledge does not always translate into behaviour. We can know something is good for us and still not do it.  Whether it be eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, managing stress, getting enough rest, etc. – these are all things we know are essential for optimal health, yet many people don’t do these things on a regular basis or at all.  In North America, we have pandamic rates of diabetes, obesity, and heart disease - all of which are fundamentally lifestyle diseases.

A friend of mine, Chris Gay, is a raw food/raw living coach.  You can find her at http://www.rawsomecoaching.ca  She recently shared an informative video (see below) about how to cure and prevent diabetes through diet (not drugs, but simply and profoundly changing what gets put into the body).  I hope you will find this video both informative and inspiring, while offering you tips for your own healthy eating and healthy living.

When I was pregnant with both of our sons, I dealt with gestational diabetes.  During my first pregnancy, I required 4 injections of insulin a day to safely manage this disease.  Labour had to be induced prior to our baby’s due date as a result of the complications that arose from the gestational diabetes.  Nine months after the birth of our first son, I learned I was pregnant again.  This time, I applied what I had learned about diet and exercise as a way of managing diabetes without medication and was able to stay drug free throughout the entire pregnancy.  (I did this from the very beginning of the pregnancy while during my first pregnancy I was not diagnosed with diabetes until well into the pregnancy and I did not know a thing about the disease - so experience and knowledge also played a helpful role the second time around).  The good news is when we know better, we can do better!

Here’s the video…

I haven’t been blogging lately because I have been working on writing offline.  We have just completed our book proposal for Writing Alone Together:  Journaling Within A Circle of Women for Creativity, Compassion and Connection (co-authored with Wendy Judith Cutler and Dr. Ahava Shira) and we are excited to send this labour of love off to potential publishers.

We are excited to bring this book to you in 2012, one way or the other!  The writer’s path is not for the weak of heart.  It is a courageous act to put your ideas, thoughts, feelings, soul onto the page.  If you are making your mark with words – know you are not alone.  Whether you write for yourself and/or for others – words and writing have the power to heal, inspire, inform.

Writing changes live, changes thinking.  In 2012, I am a writer.  I am a speaker.  I surrender to the call of words on the page and on the stage.

May we write alone together.  Together and alone.  To make art.  To make a difference.

Every week I hear my coaching clients say the same thing:  “I don’t have any time for self-care!”

People who often neglect their own needs for rest, replenishment, joy, play, exercise, healthy food, and time to fill their emotional cups end up feeling stressed, exhausted, resentful, anxious, and often depressed. 

The most common obstacle to truly caring for yourself is not about time, it is about feelings of self-worth – believing that you are deserving of the time, energy, money, five minutes to yourself – whatever the case may be.

Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem, I have a self-care problem.”

Many of us have problems with self-care; I see this as especially true for women and for individuals who do work that is other-focussed by nature (helping professionals, healers, social workers, counsellors, educators, caregivers, health care professionals, etc.) – where caring and empathy are at the occupational core.

Your worth is not based on how much you give, your worth is your birthright, it is already present – waiting for you to remember you are enough.

What will it take for you to make yourself a priority?  At least for a few minutes each day. All of your caring work and roles will be enhanced each time you pause and truly care for yourself, nourish your spirit, and feel your own worthiness deep within.  You deserve to care for yourself as you would someone you really, really love. We all do.

I hear from lots of social workers and human service professionals who are looking for work.

I was recently contacted by Harriet Gordon, who recently published an article featuring 25 Exciting Career Opportunities in Human Services. I thought some of you who read this blog might find her information helpful.

You can find her article at http://www.humanservicesdegree.org/25-exciting-career-opportunities-in-human-services/

To making a difference, Lynda