I am diving deeply into my memoir project.   The book is called Umbilical Cord: A Memoir of Adoption about my experience as an adoptee, finding and meeting my birth mother, and becoming a mother myself.  It is a story about family, mother love, abondonment, secrets and hope; it is a story of discovery.  I have been “working on” on this memoir for over decade, since just after I met my birth mother for the first time.  Now, I am ready to show up for the work and inner journey of writing this book.  I declared 2012 “the year I write this memoir”.  It is February, I have the project dusted off, a big white sheet identifying the scenes I have written so far, and my memoir writing books on my desk.  I have spent the past month “getting ready to write”.  Now, I need to get down to it because note to self: thinking about writing is not writing!

Memoir writing causes me to be in the present but also pulled deeply into the past, while also holding a vision for the future.  Five things I believe so far about memoir writing (please note I have been a journal writer for over 25 years)…

1) The more deeply I tell my own story, the more universal the story becomes.

2) Other peoples’ stories can help us learn something about ourselves.

3) Consensus building or approval seeking from family members (or key characters in the story) are not helpful elements of writing a memoir.  Memoirs are not greatly improved by a large censor voice.

4) The more I write the more I want to write.  Writing helps unlock writer’s block.

5) There can be a gift of healing through writing memoir, through understanding woundedness and re-storying our experiences.  I once read, “Adoption is the only trauma where we expect the victim to be grateful.”  I am exploring both the losses and the gains brought into my life through being an adoptee.  I am doing this both on the page and in my heart.

Watch this blog for more musings on my memoir writing journey!

One of my 2012 commitments is to keep improving how I eat in order to optimize my health, energy and vitality, while also teaching healthy eating/living habits to our young sons.  I live on Salt Spring Island, a place where eating a healthy diet is accessible and doable.  In the summer and fall, I drive by two farm stands offering locally grown produce, organic eggs, etc. within my 2 km commute from my studio to our house.

We all know a lot about how to eat healthy, yet knowledge does not always translate into behaviour. We can know something is good for us and still not do it.  Whether it be eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, managing stress, getting enough rest, etc. – these are all things we know are essential for optimal health, yet many people don’t do these things on a regular basis or at all.  In North America, we have pandamic rates of diabetes, obesity, and heart disease - all of which are fundamentally lifestyle diseases.

A friend of mine, Chris Gay, is a raw food/raw living coach.  You can find her at http://www.rawsomecoaching.ca  She recently shared an informative video (see below) about how to cure and prevent diabetes through diet (not drugs, but simply and profoundly changing what gets put into the body).  I hope you will find this video both informative and inspiring, while offering you tips for your own healthy eating and healthy living.

When I was pregnant with both of our sons, I dealt with gestational diabetes.  During my first pregnancy, I required 4 injections of insulin a day to safely manage this disease.  Labour had to be induced prior to our baby’s due date as a result of the complications that arose from the gestational diabetes.  Nine months after the birth of our first son, I learned I was pregnant again.  This time, I applied what I had learned about diet and exercise as a way of managing diabetes without medication and was able to stay drug free throughout the entire pregnancy.  (I did this from the very beginning of the pregnancy while during my first pregnancy I was not diagnosed with diabetes until well into the pregnancy and I did not know a thing about the disease - so experience and knowledge also played a helpful role the second time around).  The good news is when we know better, we can do better!

Here’s the video…

I haven’t been blogging lately because I have been working on writing offline.  We have just completed our book proposal for Writing Alone Together:  Journaling Within A Circle of Women for Creativity, Compassion and Connection (co-authored with Wendy Judith Cutler and Dr. Ahava Shira) and we are excited to send this labour of love off to potential publishers.

We are excited to bring this book to you in 2012, one way or the other!  The writer’s path is not for the weak of heart.  It is a courageous act to put your ideas, thoughts, feelings, soul onto the page.  If you are making your mark with words – know you are not alone.  Whether you write for yourself and/or for others – words and writing have the power to heal, inspire, inform.

Writing changes live, changes thinking.  In 2012, I am a writer.  I am a speaker.  I surrender to the call of words on the page and on the stage.

May we write alone together.  Together and alone.  To make art.  To make a difference.

Every week I hear my coaching clients say the same thing:  “I don’t have any time for self-care!”

People who often neglect their own needs for rest, replenishment, joy, play, exercise, healthy food, and time to fill their emotional cups end up feeling stressed, exhausted, resentful, anxious, and often depressed. 

The most common obstacle to truly caring for yourself is not about time, it is about feelings of self-worth – believing that you are deserving of the time, energy, money, five minutes to yourself – whatever the case may be.

Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem, I have a self-care problem.”

Many of us have problems with self-care; I see this as especially true for women and for individuals who do work that is other-focussed by nature (helping professionals, healers, social workers, counsellors, educators, caregivers, health care professionals, etc.) – where caring and empathy are at the occupational core.

Your worth is not based on how much you give, your worth is your birthright, it is already present – waiting for you to remember you are enough.

What will it take for you to make yourself a priority?  At least for a few minutes each day. All of your caring work and roles will be enhanced each time you pause and truly care for yourself, nourish your spirit, and feel your own worthiness deep within.  You deserve to care for yourself as you would someone you really, really love. We all do.

I hear from lots of social workers and human service professionals who are looking for work.

I was recently contacted by Harriet Gordon, who recently published an article featuring 25 Exciting Career Opportunities in Human Services. I thought some of you who read this blog might find her information helpful.

You can find her article at http://www.humanservicesdegree.org/25-exciting-career-opportunities-in-human-services/

To making a difference, Lynda